Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
