Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
