Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
