Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
