Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
