i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
