Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
