found the other keg... it's in the tree
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize