i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
