put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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