I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
