I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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