Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
