just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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