She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
