so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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