some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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