how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
