So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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