We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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