We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
