I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
