im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
