Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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