and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
