We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize