Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
