I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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