He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
