remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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