So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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