My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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