New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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