i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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