I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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