went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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