Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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