Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Shame - the story of my life.
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