I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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