It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
