You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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