It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
