I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
