There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
