my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
