the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
