HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
