we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
