It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
