i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
