Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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