No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
