office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
