Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
