considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
