Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This baby is an asshole
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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