I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she peed on how many people?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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