four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
