We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
