The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
